“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. Our recommendation is all of our clients to invest all their resources into preserved goods and firearms.” That bit of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, articulate, bespectacled member of the oozy monster mob that swarms Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. However, oddly enough, it’s also remarkably sound life advice. Truly, listen to my reasoning.
When situations deteriorate, the most counterproductive action you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin understands this. In fact, the majority of the fang-bearing creatures that inhabit Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (possibly his finest) possess the same wry, meta sense of humour regarding the hazy boundary separating daily routine and unadulterated chaos. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and with the passage of time, it’s the message that echoes the loudest.
Of course, my fondness for this movie wasn’t born on such an introspective level. In my youth, we only had a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box almost certainly acquired from an independent video outlet and sporting growling monsters on its knackered cover. I was instantly captivated and these films quickly proceeded lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. After that point, they became an almost-daily part of my youthful watching schedule.
Dante’s original typically gets all the plaudits, thanks mostly because of its legacy as a partly frightening holiday classic – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. However, its successor infrequently obtains the same level of high regard, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d seclude myself indoors and stick it on. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Gradually, it became deeply rooted in my mindset. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they appeared unbothered.
As I got older, new revelations enriched frequent screenings, elevating the fun of watching diminutive verdant beasts happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon future president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his one-time partner Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his real-life counterpart.
The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was inspired by a actual “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film varying versions of a self-referential segment where Gremlins take over the very film you’re watching. An edit for movie houses, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each offering a winking bit of meta pop-culture magic ahead of its time.
While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that caught my eye as a child, this hidden treasure held my interest as an adult. Ultimately, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no reservations telling me he made the movie with the direct intention of poking fun at those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This Looney Tunes-esque insubordination and determination to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only increased my affection for it.
When I went through a unexpected loss in the family not long ago, I was astonished to realize that, during my deepest grief, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Maybe not. The comforting familiarity it provided was essential to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the stuff it had imparted to me as an adult were just as useful.
Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just can’t control. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: embrace the chaos, commit your entire being into preserved goods and firearms and try not to take things too seriously.
It’s powerful existential guidance from a most improbable origin – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my go-to cinematic solace.
Milan is een ervaren opticien met een passie voor visuele technologie en klantgerichtheid.
