Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.
My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.
She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.
She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.
She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.
I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.
She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.
I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.
I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.
I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.
Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.
I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.
I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.
I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.
This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.
Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?
Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25
When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26
Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27
It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53
She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71
In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?
Milan is een ervaren opticien met een passie voor visuele technologie en klantgerichtheid.
